GERIATRIC HUMOR

An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. "Yes Dad, what is it?"

"Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me ... your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."

-----------------------------------------

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you

stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

------------------------------------------

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

------------------------------------------

Some people try to turn back their odometers.

Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.

I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

--------------------------------------------

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

----------------------------------------------

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back

to youth, think of Algebra.

---------------------------------------------

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

----------------------------------------------

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

----------------------------------------------

One of the many things no one tells you about aging

is that it is such a nice change from being young.

----------------------------------------------

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

-----------------------------------------------

Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.

----------------------------------------------

If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't

have anything to laugh at when you are old.

--------------------------------------

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper.

It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

-------------------------------------------

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft...

Today, it's called golf